Why 10 Conversations Beat 100 Job Applications (and How to Have Them)
For recent graduates who are tired of applying into the void - and ready to try something different.
Should you be sending invitations rather than applications?
The real problem with online job applications
How many hours have you spent applying for jobs online? 100? 1,000?
The top frustration I hear from recent grads isn't about the hours spent — it's about the return on investment. No feedback. Nothing to tell them whether all this practice is improving their chances of getting hired.
So, let's take those hours and do something different with them.
Let's get some feedback.
Start with what you don't know
Confidence is important when you're looking for work. But confidence is not the same as certainty.
People look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them that uncertainty can be a superpower - but I stand by it.
Rather than writing down everything you know, write down the things you're not sure about when it comes to work. For example:
Do you want to go into the field you studied at university?
What size company do you want to work in?
Is there a particular department you're keen to join?
Do your skills match the job you want to do?
Is your CV relevant for the sector?
Go through as many aspects as you can think of: industry, sector, company size, company stage, culture, type of customers. There's bound to be a lot you don't know, because most of these things you only learn on the job.
Now look at your list. Which question really stands out?
This is the question you're going to work on solving - by talking to strangers.
Why 10 conversations beat 100 applications
Don't believe the hype: quantity is not better than quality.
All you need is 2 or 3 really good conversations to start answering your question. The trick is finding the right people to ask.
Over 70% of jobs are never advertised.
Instead, they come through conversations — where people build enough trust and connection to recommend you to a friend, or a friend of a friend.
So you're no longer competing with thousands of other applications. You're building real relationships with people who can open doors.
Here's how to do it.
How to find the right people to talk to
Start with filters. Of all the people who could help, the ones most likely to do so will share something in common with you:
Where you live — we're still tribal animals at heart, and you'd be shocked how much more open people are to helping someone from the next street
What uni or school you went to — alumni networks are underused and surprisingly warm
Hobbies and interests — shared passions create instant common ground
Start close to home. Then work outwards.
A step-by-step approach: using company size as an example
Say you want to work in marketing, and you want to find out whether you'd be better suited to a big company or a small one. Your goal: invite 10 people to coffee, to get insight on that question.
Step 1: Post in local community groups
Post a simple message on Facebook or other local community groups:
"Hello! I'm a recent grad, on a mission to learn more about marketing. Do you, or a friend, have insights you'd be happy to share with me over a cup of coffee? I'd love to speak to local people with experience in companies big and small, to get a flavour of the day-to-day work. Can you help? I'll buy you a croissant too!"
[Photo of you]
Top tip: In active local groups, people often tag friends who can help. If this happens, reply publicly with a big thank you and invite the friend to DM you. This increases the visibility of your post and gives the friend a clear next step.
Step 2: Search LinkedIn for local leads
Search for "marketing [your town]" (e.g. "marketing, Guildford") and filter by People. Pick 20 people who work in interesting roles or at interesting companies, and send them a connection request.
Top tip: LinkedIn sometimes gives you free messages to send to people who aren't connections yet. If you have that option, use it.
Lots of people with profiles aren't active on LinkedIn, so don't feel down if no one accepts. This still happens to me, all the time!
Step 3: Send a cold email
Whether your LinkedIn connections come through or not, follow up with a cold email.
Small businesses (under 50 people) sometimes share email addresses on their website. Where that isn't an option, Google "[company name] email format" to work out what your target's email address might be.
Top tip: Writing a cold email is an art form. Most professionals receive over 100 emails a day, so yours has to stand out. Keep it easy to scan, with plenty of white space and short sentences.
Here's an example:
Subject: Guildford grad keen for advice - can I buy you a coffee at Heidi’s?
Hi Dave,
I’m a recent English grad, keen to get insights on a career in marketing. Particularly, the difference in marketing roles between big and small companies.
I saw on LinkedIn that we both live in Guildford (I’m on Derby Road!) and your career journey from [company name] to [company name] looks fascinating.
Can I buy you a coffee, to hear about your experience and get your take on the industry? I’ll take max. 30 minutes of your time.
Thanks for reading - I really appreciate it.
Sally
How to make the most of the conversation
When you get a yes, make the most of it.
The two most important things to bring are:
Warmth — you want to be there, and you're grateful for their generosity
Confidence — you know what question you're trying to figure out, and why this conversation will help
Top tip: Assume you have 30 minutes. Prepare three questions you'd like to ask. Don't worry if you don't get through them all - really listen to the answers and let your curiosity guide you.
A few things to get right:
Buy the coffee. You've invited them. This is how you say thank you - and a small investment in your future career.
Send a thank you email within 24 hours. Reference a specific insight or story they shared that helped you.
Stay in touch. As you make progress, send short updates - from interviews to more conversations with interesting people. When someone has invested time in you, they generally want to see you succeed.
Why this works better than asking AI
This might feel like a lot of work to answer a simple question. Why not just ask ChatGPT or listen to a podcast?
Because personalised, human feedback is always going to be more valuable.
AI can only give you generic answers. Podcasts and articles can only give you general advice.
Speaking to 10 people with direct insight into your question will:
Give you a range of real perspectives
Help you personalise your approach — identifying what's special about your experiences and skills
Build a professional network of mentors and cheerleaders who are invested in your success
So you're no longer competing with thousands of other applications.
It's you they want.
Now — go and write those invitations.
Frequently asked questions
What is a coffee chat for job searching? A coffee chat is a short, informal conversation - usually 30 minutes - with someone who works in a field or company you're curious about. You invite them, you buy the coffee, and you come with a genuine question you're trying to answer. It's not a job interview. It's a conversation between two humans.
How do I ask someone for a coffee chat? Keep it short and specific. Tell them who you are, what question you're trying to answer, and why you thought of them. Ask for 30 minutes at a local coffee shop. Make it easy for them to say yes - and offer to buy the coffee.
What should I ask in a coffee chat? Prepare three questions based on the specific thing you're trying to figure out. For example, if you're trying to decide between big and small companies: What does a typical day look like? What do you wish you'd known before joining? Would you make the same choice again? Listen more than you talk.
How do I find people to have coffee chats with? Start local. Post in community groups, search LinkedIn by location, and look for alumni from your university. People who share something in common with you - where you live, where you studied, what you love doing - are far more likely to say yes.
Is cold emailing for a coffee chat rude? Not at all - if you do it well. Keep it short, make it personal, and be clear about what you're asking for. Most people are genuinely happy to help a recent grad who approaches them with warmth and a specific question. The worst they can say is no.
Why are coffee chats better than online job applications? Online applications give you no feedback and no relationship. A coffee chat gives you both. Most jobs are never advertised publicly - they're filled through conversations and recommendations. Every coffee chat is a step closer to the person who might recommend you.
Sally Marnan is the founder of Side Door Career Co., a career mentoring service for 18–25 year olds moving from education into work. Find more guides at sidedoorcareer.co/useful-stuff or follow along on Substack.
